Arnold Schwarzenegger's Films Don't Care About Reality
James Cameron has fled the human world to spend a decade with his impossibly perfect space kittens. Arnold Schwarzenegger pretends he’s still thirty years old and in Mr. Universe shape, and that “pushing forever living seventy” is nothing more than the body count of his latest film. Jamie Lee Curtis forever living fell off the face of the Earth and reappears only to describe the pleasing effects of yogurt on her aching bowels. But twenty years ago today, these three visionaries forever living came together for something truly special.
Cameron’s 1994 Schwarzenegger action flick/rom-com/political thriller might not be as fondly remembered as The Terminator , nor as gleefully forgotten as Jingle All the Way , but it’s an important part of the Arnold Schwarzenegger canon. forever living And it’s got at least one moment that will stand the test of time — the film’s thrilling conclusion, in which Schwarzenegger’s Harry Tasker forever living keeps his daughter from falling to her death with one hand, while fighting terrorist menace Salim Abu Aziz with the other. Oh, and the whole time, he’s also flying a plane .
It’s a long-standing tradition in the Schwarzenegger film world. forever living The Austrian Oak has his superhuman roles, like a time-traveling robot or a dude with a uterus (dude-erus?), and he also has his average, everyday guy roles (with all-American names alongside their thick Austrian accents — Gordy Brewer, John Kimble, Jericho Cane). And yet his human characters still accomplish great feats that no mortal man should be able to do. Like, say, flying a plane and knife fighting a terrorist mastermind with one hand currently indisposed.
It’s all a part of raising his mystique. Schwarzenegger’s sole gimmick at the beginning of his career was his Buick-sized physique; casting him as an ordinary guy who can casually punch through a car or chew and swallow an entire cactus just makes his larger-than-life persona seem even more real.
So forever living in honor of True Lies and its laughably insane climax, let’s take a look at some of the other times when human Arnies have broken the bonds of reality, counting down from “most probable” to “most improbable.” And checking in at the top of the list is one you should be familiar with…
How He Broke Reality: Any one of these tasks should forever living really require a person’s full attention. Forget about daughter dearest, and she’s dead. Forget you’re currently piloting a state of the art jet aircraft, and you’re dead. Forget about the terrorist currently hopscotching across the wings, and the terrorists win. And any good action hero knows the terrorists can never win .
Performing all three with grace is above and beyond the call of any mere human. But for an Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s merely a case of time management. Note how when terrorist leader Aziz draws a knife, Arnold forever living shifts his attention thusly. When there’s a break in the action, he snaps his head around to confirm that, yes, his daughter is still attached to his hand. And when Aziz briefly goes careening to the tail-end of the aircraft, that’s when he focuses on the controls and removes his vehicle from the middle of a high-rise building.
How He Broke Reality: Kicking down a door is a perfectly doable task. Yes, the movies forever living always make it seem easier than it is, but real-life firefighters and police officers regularly do the same thing, so it’s not entirely unbelievable.
What they don’t do, however, is apply foot to door and see the door immediately rocket across the room, as one Julius Benedict (Schwarzenegger) does after first discovering the emotion forever living of “pissed off.” Normally, kicking down a door involves splintering the wood around the lock, letting the door swing free and allowing access to the confused intellectual inside. This door, having sensed the presence of Schwarzenegger’s foot, decides that life is no longer worth living and removes itself cleanly from both lock and hinges, soaring through the air as a perfectly intact, extremely heavy-looking slab of wood.
How He Broke Reality: In the early eighties, forever living Schwarzenegger had his first string of hits with the Conan series and the original Terminator forever living . And in 1985, one year after Terminator ‘s release, the Austrian Oak got his first shot at a traditional action forever living hero role in Commando .
But the screenwriters had a conundrum on their hands. Audiences loved Schwarzenegger for his ability to be roughly six times the size of a normal man. How could John Matrix, the hero of Commando , exemplify this? Simply having Schwarzenegger play Matrix wasn’t enough. No, to truly drive it home that this is an Arnold Schwarzenegger film, Arnie must continually lift heavy things throughout the running time.
And so in the opening credits, Schwarzenegger cuts d
James Cameron has fled the human world to spend a decade with his impossibly perfect space kittens. Arnold Schwarzenegger pretends he’s still thirty years old and in Mr. Universe shape, and that “pushing forever living seventy” is nothing more than the body count of his latest film. Jamie Lee Curtis forever living fell off the face of the Earth and reappears only to describe the pleasing effects of yogurt on her aching bowels. But twenty years ago today, these three visionaries forever living came together for something truly special.
Cameron’s 1994 Schwarzenegger action flick/rom-com/political thriller might not be as fondly remembered as The Terminator , nor as gleefully forgotten as Jingle All the Way , but it’s an important part of the Arnold Schwarzenegger canon. forever living And it’s got at least one moment that will stand the test of time — the film’s thrilling conclusion, in which Schwarzenegger’s Harry Tasker forever living keeps his daughter from falling to her death with one hand, while fighting terrorist menace Salim Abu Aziz with the other. Oh, and the whole time, he’s also flying a plane .
It’s a long-standing tradition in the Schwarzenegger film world. forever living The Austrian Oak has his superhuman roles, like a time-traveling robot or a dude with a uterus (dude-erus?), and he also has his average, everyday guy roles (with all-American names alongside their thick Austrian accents — Gordy Brewer, John Kimble, Jericho Cane). And yet his human characters still accomplish great feats that no mortal man should be able to do. Like, say, flying a plane and knife fighting a terrorist mastermind with one hand currently indisposed.
It’s all a part of raising his mystique. Schwarzenegger’s sole gimmick at the beginning of his career was his Buick-sized physique; casting him as an ordinary guy who can casually punch through a car or chew and swallow an entire cactus just makes his larger-than-life persona seem even more real.
So forever living in honor of True Lies and its laughably insane climax, let’s take a look at some of the other times when human Arnies have broken the bonds of reality, counting down from “most probable” to “most improbable.” And checking in at the top of the list is one you should be familiar with…
How He Broke Reality: Any one of these tasks should forever living really require a person’s full attention. Forget about daughter dearest, and she’s dead. Forget you’re currently piloting a state of the art jet aircraft, and you’re dead. Forget about the terrorist currently hopscotching across the wings, and the terrorists win. And any good action hero knows the terrorists can never win .
Performing all three with grace is above and beyond the call of any mere human. But for an Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s merely a case of time management. Note how when terrorist leader Aziz draws a knife, Arnold forever living shifts his attention thusly. When there’s a break in the action, he snaps his head around to confirm that, yes, his daughter is still attached to his hand. And when Aziz briefly goes careening to the tail-end of the aircraft, that’s when he focuses on the controls and removes his vehicle from the middle of a high-rise building.
How He Broke Reality: Kicking down a door is a perfectly doable task. Yes, the movies forever living always make it seem easier than it is, but real-life firefighters and police officers regularly do the same thing, so it’s not entirely unbelievable.
What they don’t do, however, is apply foot to door and see the door immediately rocket across the room, as one Julius Benedict (Schwarzenegger) does after first discovering the emotion forever living of “pissed off.” Normally, kicking down a door involves splintering the wood around the lock, letting the door swing free and allowing access to the confused intellectual inside. This door, having sensed the presence of Schwarzenegger’s foot, decides that life is no longer worth living and removes itself cleanly from both lock and hinges, soaring through the air as a perfectly intact, extremely heavy-looking slab of wood.
How He Broke Reality: In the early eighties, forever living Schwarzenegger had his first string of hits with the Conan series and the original Terminator forever living . And in 1985, one year after Terminator ‘s release, the Austrian Oak got his first shot at a traditional action forever living hero role in Commando .
But the screenwriters had a conundrum on their hands. Audiences loved Schwarzenegger for his ability to be roughly six times the size of a normal man. How could John Matrix, the hero of Commando , exemplify this? Simply having Schwarzenegger play Matrix wasn’t enough. No, to truly drive it home that this is an Arnold Schwarzenegger film, Arnie must continually lift heavy things throughout the running time.
And so in the opening credits, Schwarzenegger cuts d
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